Most of the time, people talk about truth as if it were a tool by which they manipulate another person or are manipulated by them. Human beings, as most of us can attest, do, indeed, predominantly use the truth to manipulate and control others’ actions, reactions or feelings, as we determine to tell the truth, to tell a lie, or to withhold some aspect of the truth, or certain information, with the sole intent of controlling the reaction of the other(s) in question. A classic justification for lying is “I don’t want to hurt her/him.” The obvious answer to not hurting the person in question is to not do what would hurt them in the first place. You already hurt the person in doing the act, which exists independently of the person’s knowledge of it. Having done it, however, and then aggravating the situation and the imminent pain by trying to control the person you hurt by lying is wronging them twice. In this situation, lying is all about protecting the liar. If you wrong somebody, take responsibility for your actions, come clean, sincerely apologize, admit your mistake, then let it go and sit back and accept the reactions of the one you hurt. In the process, you’ll get a clear conscience and a huge weight off of your chest.

For humans, truth has predominantly been made subservient to our various personal agendas. Truth is not supposed to be a tool for manipulation and control, or to be made subservient to our agendas. Truth is not a tool. Truth is a goal and a virtue in and of itself, to which all personal agendas should be made subservient and which we all should strive for. If you can’t achieve a personal agenda with truth, abandon it, or modify it. As humans of principles, truth is our North Star as we navigate our way through life.

Implement truth with wisdom and kindness

Some people pride themselves on always speaking what comes into their minds, uncensored and unfiltered, and they think that by doing so, they are doing everyone they interact with a great service with their “honesty.” For example, they think it is honest to tell someone they have a big nose, or that they are fat, or ugly, or that they look like an elephant in those pants. This is not truth. This is more akin to teasing and insulting. While it may be a true portrayal of that particular individual’s opinion and general ill-will, since there is clearly nothing the recipient can do with such degrading and subjective information, the intent behind saying such things is primarily hostile, or mocking, and self-serving and the true intent of the speaker is to make him or herself feel better, or to raise him or herself above the recipient by making the recipient feel bad or by humiliating the recipient. This is just another way of making truth subservient to a personal agenda and of manipulating the reactions of others.

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We should aspire to make truth our guiding light in life, and we should consciously and deliberately avoid situations and actions which would lead to situations in which we would be tempted to lie, or where telling the truth would be too hard for us to do. At the same time, in general, we should impart truth with wisdom and compassion and use judgment when being truthful with others and not “tell the truth” from a place of spite or ill-will, or personal insecurity.

This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

- Shakespeare